Modern Dating: What Every GenZ Should Know

Surprisingly, this blog received more hits than any of my others! If you like my work, consider subscribing to get fresh content delivered straight to your inbox every Sunday. You support helps me create novel content, feature guest writers, and build a community that benefits all readers. Alright, enough self-promotion – let’s dive into the good stuff before I lose you!

(Average Read Time – 4 mins)

I have loved much – and yet, somehow, it still feels I haven’t loved enough. Maybe because I was told it isn’t the right time, or maybe the idea of commitment felt heavy, or maybe I was always chasing something perfect.

In this blog, I would like to share few things that I experienced in this complex world of modern dating, navigating relationships, and things I wish I knew earlier.

1/ Date to Explore, Not to Fix

If you are attracted to someone who isn’t in their right head space then don’t date expecting you’d eventually fix them. It’s not your job to fix someone. If it was then you’d be in med school.

A stable relation is when two people in their right headspace come together to make a happy life. Relationship isn’t a solution to boredom, misery or loneliness.

Don’t date to check vibes, date to explore compatibility. Meet new people to check vibes.

This doesn’t mean you have to marry someone with whom it isn’t what you thought to be… but know that the further you are entertaining what’s not meant for you, the further you are delaying what actually is.

2/ Chase Hobbies, Not People

While I met new people and explored this feeling of love and attention, I came across people who had made relationships the whole focus of their existence. So much so that they had unknowingly lost themselves in the process.

I cannot stress this enough – but keep your personal interest always above your obsession to find a partner. People come and go; but your skills, your craft – it stays with you.

In fact, the more involved you are in yourself, the more you explore different hobbies, or the more passionate you are about your craft… the hotter you become in the dating pool.

You want to be with someone who is interesting, balanced, and have their own life… but so do they.

Rely on your partner because you want to… not because you have to. There is a difference. Love feels lighter and freer when you don’t need someone to fill your gaps.

Investing in yourself is what helps you maintain your autonomy.

3/ Chemistry and Compatibility are Two Different Things

I have met people with whom I vibed instantly. We had the exact same music taste, our chats were long, engaging and funny, and there was attraction. In short, we had chemistry.

However, we eventually fell apart.

It is because chemistry becomes boring after a point – there has to be something more that holds a relation together – shared values, lifestyle choices, conflict resolution, cultural and moral beliefs, and long-term goals – in short, compatibility.

Chemistry is important, but it is a limited resource. Sooner or later, it will run out. Chemistry without compatibility is like a train without engine – exciting to board, but it’s not going anywhere.  

4/ Your Journey, Your Pace

Some people find love right outside their door, while others take time to discover. Some are surrounded by love and attention throughout their lives, while others barely get a glimpse of it.

We all behave indifferent about love or show excitement when a friend gets engaged – but deep down, something hits us silently – it’s that subtle fear of being left behind, or never getting to experience that feeling of celebration for ourselves.

One thing that I have learnt the hard way is that while this feeling of left out is real… it doesn’t actually make you any less. Life moves at wildly different paces for people.

Just because someone lived a life that you didn’t doesn’t mean you missed out in life – it just means your life unfolded differently. And differently ≠ wrong.

Maybe you are the kind of person who wants something meaningful – not just something convenient.

Maybe you are someone for whom what feels good >> what looks good.

The right person might just be on their own journey right now – getting ready for you without even realizing it.

5/ The Optimal vs Perfect Cake

I know one of the most intimidating decisions in dating is whether to keep looking or settle down.

We all chase perfection. We all want someone with a perfect body, perfect maturity, and perfect sense of humor. And there’s nothing wrong with that want.

Why would anyone settle for a half-baked cake when you can have a perfectly baked one, right?

The only problem with that is perfection is a moving target. It tricks us into believing that a little more sugar, a little more wait, or a touch more warmth will make the cake perfect.

The closer you get, the more faults you find – and suddenly, you’re stuck in a loop of second-guessing and delaying.

However, the truth is that it’s not the perfectly baked cake that fills you – it’s the optimally baked one that makes you feel satisfied. It’s when you’ve done enough – not too little, not too much – but enough to create something worth having, something authentic, and something ready. 

Choosing optimal over perfect is choosing something real over ideal.

Ultimately, I have realized that finding love is a blessing. All those blessings your parents or grandparents bestowed upon you are trying their best to get to you. But you can’t plan to step out one day and come back home fallen in love, it comes to you as a blessing or a quiet gift. All you can do is keep yourself open to possibilities and not block your blessings.