Beyond Fair & Unfair, Lucky & Unlucky

Last week, while I was playing cricket, I was given not-out at a crucial moment. Deep down, I knew I was out – and so did everyone watching except the umpire who ruled in my favor.

Sometimes, players choose to walk off on their own in the spirit of the game and being fair.

But I didn’t.

I chose to stay and continue my innings. Eventually, it turned out to be a pivotal moment, and we ended up winning the match.

I kept wondering if it was right to stay despite knowing I was out. Honestly, it wasn’t easy to sit with that feeling for some time.

I thought I was the kind of person who would always play fair – not just when it is easy to play fair.

While the game continued, my mind kept questioning if I had done the right thing. There was a little guilt that lingered.

But then I thought now that I’ve chosen to stay, I better make the most of it. Maybe luck is on my side and I shouldn’t disappoint it.

Luck vs Response

In that moment, I had two choices – either reject the opportunity in the name of fairness, or accept the stroke of luck and do something meaningful with it.

We really needed that victory. The team had been struggling for a while, and this win was needed to keep our hopes alive.

We talk a lot about life being unfair to us, but we don’t talk much about when it’s unfair in our favor. And when that happens, most of us like to believe we’ll take the morally high path.

Relevance vs Fairness

It also made me wonder that fair play is relevant only if you are still in the game. If you are out, there isn’t much left beyond pity and sympathy for you.

And to stay relevant, you need to stay alive in the game.

So, where do you draw the line?

Here’s the uncomfortable truth. Not all unfairness is yours to fix.

As long as you are not deliberately unfair or dishonest, there’s room to accept what life gives. Yes, I won’t cheat, I won’t manipulate, and I won’t wish ill for someone… but I also won’t feel guilty for taking opportunities I didn’t create myself.

From the opponent’s perspective, yes – it was unfair to them. But I didn’t consciously create that unfairness. It happened.

Today it happened to them, tomorrow it might happen to me.

I have come to believe that just as life can be unfair to you, it can also be unfair for you. So, separate yourself from the debate of fairness and unfairness and focus on what you do with it.

Use All Your Advantages

I’m of a strong opinion that use all of your unfair advantages – your network, your looks, your money, or just your timing – whatever it is, just use it. There isn’t anything noble about choosing the harder route when an easier one exists.

Use them as leverage.

Equality is just a feel-good idea. Reality is different. The world doesn’t appreciate your potential, as much as it appreciates your reality.

So, use every opportunity you get without guilt… because someone else with the same advantage is already doing it. Don’t wait for permission.

It may sound admirable when people say I’m not going to accept any help, or I’m going to do it on my own, or I’m going to stick to my principles even if that leaves them struggling – but it is silly.

It does not matter where you start from, what matters is where you reach.

Next time life gets the call wrong in your favor, use it to your advantage. Because the game doesn’t stop to ask if things were fair, it just moves on.