Maybe we all need someone like a therapist – so we don’t need a therapist.

Last week was Diwali, and I was talking to a friend after a long time – probably months. During the call, we realized something that made us ponder upon a scary reality.  

It wasn’t the quintessential feeling of nostalgia. It was something existential.

Besides our family, do we really have anyone left with whom we can talk unfiltered at lengths – like before?

People get busy, start families, and life happens – I get it.

However, more people are in need of therapy today than before probably because of a subtle void in our life that only gets compounded over time.

• Therapy has its own value, and I’m not against therapy.
• I’m against being unaware of why we need therapy more today.

The Dichotomy of Two –

Once you are on the other side of 30s, or sometimes sooner, your social energy declines and your interests dwindle. Probably because you now have a partner, a family – and most of the social hangouts slowly begin to happen between couples.

While it is easy, convenient, and feels inclusive – it lacks the rawness and vulnerability that is offered when we meet just as individuals.

Most of the conversations are over superficial topics –

• Work
• Weather
• Weekend plans

It rarely goes beyond the rudimentary. It rarely goes below the surface.

We need to break this pattern.

Couple’s dinners and group outings are fun, but one-on-one talks are sacred.

We need to have a personal space that lies outside of our family and group dynamics.

While having a partner that understands you is a gift, sometimes it may not be enough. When you pour every frustration, insecurity, or existential question onto your partner – the relationship can start to get feel exhausting.

Having trusted friends to confide in lightens that load. It distributes your emotional weight more evenly.

It helps you maintain your individuality!

Individuality is Key

Individuality is such an underrated thing.

It is where your creativity, emotional battery, and curiosity live. If all your energy and identity gets consumed by your relationship and daily routines — you risk loosing yourself and your individuality. You risk becoming emotionally and creatively stagnant.

Nurturing your own interests, solitude, and friendships keeps your inner world alive. It gives you new stories, new insights, new light to bring back home.

When you talk to an old friend or someone outside your couple dynamic, you reconnect with the self that existed before the relationship — your raw voice, unedited humor, spontaneous side.

You absolutely need someone outside the shared circle — someone who sees you as you, not as part of a pair.

It could be a mentor, an old friend, a colleague – someone with whom you can truly be yourself, talk unfiltered and make your heart feel light.

Talking to such a person after a hectic week at work and home is sometimes all the therapy you need.

This person may not fix you; but they will hold space for you to fix yourself. Maybe that’s what a therapist does too — except we’ve forgotten how to offer that kind of attention to each other.

If you’ve read this blog till here, I want you think of one person who was always there for you – someone with whom talking felt fun, engaging and therapeutic.  

Therapy often fills the space left by lost deep connections. But friendship – Friendship is the original therapy — unpaid, unstructured, and deeply human.

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