What’s Your Stand? What’s Your Opinion?

I was once on the hiring panel for a management role. We really liked a candidate – he had the right experience, degree, and communication skills. We had almost made up our minds about him, with just one other candidate left to interview.

The last candidate’s resume wasn’t as strong. We didn’t expect much. He came in, smiled, and took a seat. As a form of pleasantry, we asked if he’d like coffee or tea.

It was more of a rhetorical question and we were geared up to ask the first question knowing he’d decline as a mark of politeness – like any other usual candidate.

But he didn’t.

He thanked us, and politely said: “Yes, I’d like black coffee with sugar on the side.”

We hired him.

Not because of the coffee, of course, but because that one small response made us look at him in a different perspective. A perspective that his resume didn’t offer.

It showed us that he had a voice. He had the courage to not go with the flow. In a world where silence is easy, using that voice matters more than ever.

That incident reminded me how often we shy away from taking a stand — not just in interviews, but even in everyday moments in life. Sometimes, it is to display our flexibility and inclusiveness, but more often than not it is from a subconscious fear of being wrong, judged, or blamed.

Choosing a restaurant to eat with friends, for example, is a tiresome process because everyone is “fine with anything”. While it may appear as a simple menu choice, it tells a lot about individual comfort and the subtle psychology of decision making.

Indecision is also a decision.

And this inability to take a stand hampers our ability to build opinions in long term.

I’m a firm believer in the ability to form opinions on diverse topics. It doesn’t mean you have to have an opinion on every damn thing – but know that having opinions on certain things in life is crucial and it needs to be a conscious effort.

Today, if you ask people their thoughts on topics ranging from philosophy to politics, most of us are neutral. Sometimes, we prefer this neutrality out of the fear of being judged, but more often than not it is because we don’t have opinions – and I don’t know which is worse.

The ability to form opinions is through cultivating the habit of thinking, reflecting, and taking a stand where it matters. And to know what opinions to form, you should know what matters to you… and to know what matters to you, you should know how to find your own voice in a world full of noise… and the only way to find your own voice is to build the muscle of thinking and reflecting.

Having opinions show that you’ve engaged with an idea rather than absorbing it passively.   

As a society, I feel we sometimes punish people for having opinions. It sets a bad precedence for people who can have opinions and our general ability to think through and arrive at opinions.

Having opinions ≠ being opinionated.

Both are two different things. One is a mark of wisdom while the other is of stubbornness.

It’s never really about that cup of coffee or that plate of food because when you are deciding to order, you are deciding on much more than that. You are deciding to voice your preference, you are deciding to stand for something when it’s easier to blend in, and you are deciding to choose clarity over silence.

In a world that often rewards silence and neutrality, the courage to think, choose, and express yourself is not just refreshing — it’s essential.

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